*winks at my reflection in the mirror*
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Why are you doing this?
* For the stares
* For the collar bones
* To finally be confident
* To be able to go out and not feel so self conscious
* For the looks of envy
* To finally stop hating my own reflection
* To be at peace with who I am
* To be able to love the skin I’m in
* “I wish I had her body”
* To BE thinspo instead of staring at it wishing I was that skinny
* For the cute dresses and crop tops
* To be able to prove them all wrong
Because I know it’ll all be worth it.
She has dreams to be an envy, so she’s starving
You know, “covergirls eat nothing”
She says “beauty is pain and there’s beauty in everything”
“What’s a little bit of hunger?”
“I could go a little while longer”, she fades away
Everyday I fight a war
against the mirror,
I can’t take the person
starring back at me
I saw myself in the mirror and I cried
They didn’t know what it was like to look in the mirror and see inadequacy, to never feel good enough.
Becoming an addict is kind of like watching your hair grow; you don’t really notice anything wrong until you look in the mirror one day and realize that it’s gone too far.
I want to be special to someone, I want to write poems that touch people’s soul as much as you touch mine. I want to look you in the eye without feeling ugly or fat. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I want to feel something, it doesn’t even have to be love, anything will do, even pain.
I wish I had someone. Not the friends I have now. Not the family I have now. Someone I could tell anything to. Someone I could say…
“I just binged.”
“I havent eaten today.”
“I hate myself more than you could ever know.”
“I look in the mirror and lift my shirt up about 30 times a day.”
“I cry over my body fat.”
“I just took laxatives.”
“I want to dissolve.”
Anyone.
Someone.
Something.
Some tiny glimmer of hope that one day I won’t feel like this.
I will only be satisfied when the girl I see in the mirror is the same girl I see in my head.
